j (crackedxhalo) wrote,
j
crackedxhalo

One of these days I'll stop being so introspective.. hah

Continuing in my usual fashion, but quite abbreviated today, I find myself typing away again. I'm tired, somewhat brain-numb, and at this point I should probably just get a central line of caffeine. My last and a half have been non-stop. Study, sleep, work, fraternity, choose one of the above and that would be the likely choice of my action, although the second received lowest priority.

Although I'm slightly exhausted, and dreading the fact that I must go into work directly after my last final today (which happens to be the fabulous biochemistry), I have begun to compare myself to the joe of two years ago. Two years ago, when I had just hit the peak of the year that should have been the most important before I applied to medical school, I was nothing more than a depressed, lonely, mess of person, trying desperately to keep myself from drowning underneath my obligations. That quarter which ultimately decided for me that I would take last year off, that my friend base would change.. that my life would change.. that quarter that turned me into who I am now.. I want to thank it.

I'm not quite sure how my grades will turn out. I hope well, but at this point in time there is nothing more satisfying than the fact that I changed myself. I became the strong person I always should have been, the one that everyone else saw, except me. But now, I see him too. Through whatever path I seem to continue to wander I will be strong.

For whatever happens from now on, I now realize that I am strong for myself, and am becoming strong for others. I have not reached the top of who I eventually achieve to be by any means, but I am well on my way.
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